She’ll take an hour and a half to get ready, come down and be like, “oh, my goodness. That’s just less time I have to spend with her horrible friends pretending that I don’t want to kill myself. So I could care less how long it takes her to get ready. And I think it’s because I never want to go anywhere. He lives.” A lot of times, people complain that their significant other takes too long to get ready to go out at night. I should move around more? As if a sniper would get frustrated. She goes, “hey, you ever worry about getting shot when you’re out there?” I’m like, “what the hell is wrong with you?” She followed it with, “you should move around more.” Uh, you should go back to reading your vampire books. Break a leg.” this is what she said to me a few weeks ago right before I walked on stage. Sometimes before I walk on stage, my girlfriend might say, “have a good show. That joke is called “Latinos are criminals.” that’s just the title. It’s not a stereotype if it’s always true. Then it finally would be a jury of one’s own peers. They should serve exclusively on jury duty. I have no problem with illegal immigration in this country except for the fact that they don’t serve on jury duty. I’m not gonna guess what your personal line of decency is. If I offend anybody tonight, I apologize. “San Francisco: “more butt-f*cking per square foot. Aw, more butt-f*cking per square foot than in any place in the world. Oh… My third favorite city to do comedy in. Thank you… For clapping for what my parents are ashamed of. But no one will ever wonder if either were among the game's greatest players and worthy of a bust in Cooperstown.Thank you… San Francisco. So I say let Bonds, A-Rod, Raffy and Big Mac into the Hall of Fame, as long as we all put their accomplishments in proper context.įolks will always wonder what Ruth's numbers would have been had blacks been allowed to play, and they'll also wonder what Bonds' numbers would have been had he not been juiced up. But it does force you to put Ruth's numbers in context. And is Ruth's situation different because he had no control over his opponents, while steroid users made a decision to cheat? Of course it is. And, during that span of nearly four decades, no one questioned Ruth's record because he didn't compete against blacks.ĭoes that put him in the same boat as players cheating the rules to gain an advantage? No. That is, until a black man, Henry Aaron, hit career homer No. What I am willing to do is reassess how I feel about Barry Bonds and the long list of sluggers (Alex Rodriguez, Rafael Palmeiro and Mark McGwire just to name a few) and hurlers either busted for performance-enhancing drugs or caught up in the steroids cloud.įor a while, I've been in the camp who thinks Bonds and others don't belong in the Hall of Fame for cheating, but I've changed my tune after pondering the Ruth issue.įor 39 years, Ruth held the title of baseball's all-time home run king. It's not exactly breaking news that Ruth didn't play against blacks. And, honestly, I'm not ready to back away from that belief just yet. Jackie Robinson wouldn't debut until 12 years after Ruth retired, and the final team to integrate (the Boston Red Sox) wouldn't field a black player (Pumpsie Green) until another 12 years had passed.įor as long as I've followed baseball, I've always viewed Ruth as the best player to ever play the game. His gaudy stats and records were accumulated when there were no other black position players around to which Ruth could be compared. Ruth played from 1914 to 1935 and faced exactly zero black pitchers. He played before black people were even allowed."Īpparently, Tosh issued the same joke back in 2008, so I'm sure I'm not the first to bring this up. Speaking to a crowd in San Francisco, Tosh addressed the steroids controversy surrounding former Giants outfielder Barry Bonds. ![]() Nevertheless, there was one sports-related joke that was actually thought-provoking in a way I never expected. Finally got around to watching it last night. As a big fan of Tosh.0 - a 30-minute show on Comedy Central featuring YouTube clips and jokes from comedian Daniel Tosh - I set my TiVo for Sunday's premiere of Tosh's stand-up special Happy Thoughts.
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